Оriginally Postеd by Chi Prime
This PM is sent to Seleene‚ Khagen, Hans Roaming, Ale Tricio, Blade Gunner and Nighthawk. I am sure there are others in leadership who should be included, but I hope one of you can copy it into the leadership thread regarding the JF loss.
Earlier today I found I had access for a brief while to the leadership thread regarding the JF loss. That access is now gone, so I cannot quote anyone, and am responding from memory and impression of what the thread contained.
Firstly, I am very annoyed about the thread making it sound like I have asked for anything to be replaced. I did not, nor ever intended to, make such a request. I feel the thread makes me sound like a whining bitch expecting my loss to be payed for by the corp.
I did what I knew I would do right after the loss. I replaced the JF within 24 hours, getting the logistics chain back up and running. I went to jita and got replacements of every single item that belonged to corp, and moved it to Hophib as requested.
I feel I am contributing. I feel one way I can and am contributing is by being self-sufficient while still providing manpower to this corp.
As an example, after we lost some dreads to PL, I wanted to replace the personal dread on my own. I was (and I appreciate this very much) told it was policy that the corp took care of this, and was asked to provide the insurance isk. What did I do? I provided 1.5b isk as the insurance payout. Was the dread insured? No. Yet, I did not want the corp to pay for it, and the replacement dread cost less than the insurance isk, so all in all I felt I managed to save the corp some isk that would be better fit to put someone else in a dread.
Now, I would never have said anything about the above hadn't it been for this discussion. I didn't/don't want pats on the back (even if I do appreciate them) for doing stuff for the corp. I feel like an idiot for even bringing it up. Yet, I feel that at the moment I am being made out to be a leach trying to suck isk for my personal game enjoyment out of the corp. I like to be able to help the corp more than I like to shoot stuff, I like to see us, the group, the corp, the family, prosper and thrive. Being looked upon as a parasite infuriates me, tbfh.
Furthermore, I believe I remember someone saying I jumped into Vehan unscouted. I certainly did not, but I could not have as many alts logged on as I usually do, so had to scout the gate first to make sure I was not jumping into a camp, then log on the JF and jump through, wait for session to expire and then cyno out to hophib. The place I screwed up was by not cynoing into vehan. This was done because a 2nd JF needed a cyno in hophib, and I thought I could get away with jumping into vehan and cynoing into hophib. My apologies for this, I know I should not have done this and I know it is embarrassing for our corp and alliance.
However, I want to add that the current campaign is very important to us, and thus to me. I am supposed to be on vacation (hence I only have a laptop at the moment), but I certanly do not feel I can just let our supplies get stuck in zinkon and thus possibly cause us to loose the fight for Fountain. If someone thinks I am making my part seem more important than it is, well, maybe your're right, but every little helps and I certainly want to do my part. The post in the QM forum asking for supplies uses words like "please" and "ASAP" and this does make me eager to get supplies in.
Yesterday I was too eager, trying to do too many things on an inadequate laptop. I know I screwed up and I apologize. Yet, I do hope you understand that the pressure to make this happen even if I am not in the best of situations, is there.
I like this, I like helping with whatever we need, and I will keep doing it until you kick me out ().
The thread also goes on to make me out to be an idiot for using a falcon at a PОS in hophib. I want to makе something clear: the cyno chars I have been using are not low sp chars with just cynos. I need to train a few of those‚ but have not. I am using Chi, JD Markus and DJ Markus. At the same time as taking care of logistics I am also using these chars for ops. I rushed to hophib to light a cyno for sky using Chi, then in a falcon, and thought I would be safe at the PОS. I guеss not.
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